I often complain about how the phrase “how are you” is not a question. “How are you?” people will mutter. Then, just as you open your mouth to answer, they pass by you to catch the door on their way out. I always thought it is not very nice.
“How was your week? ” I casually asked someone last week as we roasted marshmallows over a fire. We met briefly once last year.
“OK. I lost my job and broke up with my boyfriend. ” she replied.
It was then that I realise: I was not prepared to hear what’s really going on. Everyone has their own problems and stories lay unspoken until asked about. Paralyzed by a sudden rush of sadness, I was silent for a while, until she said, as if to comfort me: “it’s really OK. I didn’t like my job anyways. My ex and I are still friends. It is OK. “
I wanted to punch myself in the stomach for being a rotten listener. I think, in the future, I’d ask when I am ready to listen.
“How are you? I haven’t seen your post for a long time. When are you blogging again? ” asks no-one.
But I insist to offer an account, if partial, of what’s up.
- I learnt that everyone has their own problems, but some people don’t say “I need to talk” when they need to talk.
- Final exams were OK. Soon after the last paper I caught up on what was missed at work, before spring classes came biting at the heels a week later. There, an end to my 3rd year. There was not a lot of time to recap the term, but overall it was memorable.
- I had my first program rejection. I had applied to a desirable short program, which if only on the basis of my field
I was not eligible to apply. When they took in my application I thought I had a chance; when they put me on waitlist I
thought, still, that I was close. The waitlist notification email came after my 2nd exam, I remember. I had seen it in
the morning, but decided to not read it before the exam.
After knowing the results I paced the room for a long time, and could not at all study. I had put all other arrangements on a halt in case I got in, and that week happened to be a time when I had to make decision. I called my friend Moy and then talked to my professor. They helped very much–I calmed down a lot. Biting my lips, I went ahead and committed to another program (one of almost the same subject but different framework, dates and nature).
As it turned out, I was rejected off the waitlist.
Rejection is bitter, but it also means “you’ve tried”. That’s better than not trying, right?
- For the feast for the ears I’ve ventured into mild folktronica with some classical twist. Try Yann Tiersen.
- I heard a Canadian indigenous prayer song for the first time, over the scent of burning sweet grass. Mr. R. Quinn
offered it during a territorial acknowledgement ceremony at a conference at the university. He is the most captivating
history teller I’ve ever seen.
Coming from a country where 70% of citizens have “indigenous rights” and the claim to superiority over others, I have a skewed view of the native people discussion. But things are different in a different country. Now I think the indigenous appreciation for the nature and the land is what’s lacking in many technology projects.
Alas, inherent patronization was living and breathing in the conference room even as the program carried on. At one point, a technologist who was presenting some methodology roadmap graph lightened the room by saying “I think Reuben likes the colours.” Turning to address Mr. Quinn: “Reuben, don’t you like the colours?” Mr. Quinn responded to enquiry with good nature, but I think the irony was palpable.
- This week at work, I just completed what’s likely my first client-side product development experience. In a language
that I’ve dreaded learning since encountering it at 13 (YES. Cryptic documentation & jagged version transition hello!).
It was like a job shadowing experience, even though I was still at the desk that I am so familiar with.
The problem is not complex, and GUI is already there. I just need to build some backend algorithms.
“How long do you think you need?” my boss asked.
“1 day, ” I told him.
I used ~6 days. (don’t know why I still got a job)
0.5 for a prototype, 1.5 for a working solution, 4.0 for error handling, tuning user experience, version compatibility, efficiency, and the like.
There was time pressure, loads of program errors, external questioning, and a fair bit of frustration both at the program and oneself. It is a lonely experience. I now know why the software developers would rather be left alone. I am also suddenly empathetic to the folks who wrote the cryptic documentations.
- I saw aurora borealis for the first time. Then the second time. The lights covered the sky. They danced like emerald flames. After so many nights standing guard outside alone, the two experiences were the best that I could hope for. Good things don’t last, but they bring something that you can remember them by.
Let me end my update post by promising a fun one by this time next month.
Written by Natasha. Last edited:2019-05-19 23:15:48